You get cancer and everybody is there. They bring you casseroles, hold your hand and ceaselessly encourage you. Then they see that you are good, healthy, moving on… and so do they.
It’s hard to tell people what you need when you don’t really know yourself. It’s been hard for me to put words to paper or sentences to prayer expressing my feelings for the last several months.
I’m living in the after. After the cancer. After the casseroles are gone. After the handholding ends because life’s crazy pace has picked back up and everything is back to normal—except it isn’t. It’s different. It’s after.
After the cancer.
After the junk.
Did you know, according to Google, aftershocks are smaller earthquakes that follow a larger one in the same area. They occur due to the area settling down and getting used to the new state of stress that was brought about by the mainshock.
I spent the last year adjusting. Adjusting kids to new schools, friends and schedules. Adjusting the husband to a new job, responsibilities and routines. A few months ago I realized they were all adjusted—but I wasn’t. At.all.
I got curious about aftershock so I Googled some more and I discovered that aftershocks can occur months even years after the main event.
I’m living through some aftershocks, y’all.
And I know that God is still here. In the after. I know that His promises are true. “Jesus is the same, yesterday, today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)
That passage goes on to say, “For it is good for the heart to be established and ennobled and strengthened by means of grace.” (13:9a)
I know God is asking one thing of me in the after: To trust the same God I trusted in the cancer.
To receive the same grace that carried us through the “stuff” to carry us through the “little” daily problems that “normal” life brings.
No matter what you have been through or are experiencing now, His grace is available to strengthen your heart. I would love to pray for you, just leave a comment.