Rut: a depression or groove worn into a road or path (Wikipedia)
Tired finds me in a rut. Depression from walking the same worn path day after day after day settles over me. When I find myself in this place where I put one foot in front of the other because that’s what I’ve always done, I am neglecting certain things while diligently nurturing others.
I dismiss my rut telling everyone I've found a groove. You know the place. You get so much done, you can't stop or slow down for interruptions. No matter who they might be! My groove usually produces vast outer results but leaves an inner disharmony that leads to a giant crash. My house implodes, my family feels needy and neglected and I ignore it all trying to dig myself out of the rut I've created in our road.
I am holding my home together but not cradling it. I am barking orders at my household but not enjoying them. I am chauffeuring everyone where they need to go but resenting the ride. I am ignoring my soul and certainly not nourishing it. I am putting God on the back burner instead of fixing a cup of tea in the midst of the chaos. My times of devotion become checking a quiet time off a list rather than an intimate conversation between two close friends and lovers.
As my rut gets deeper and deeper, with well-worn grooves, God gently woos me off the well-beaten path to come sit awhile. I usually rock my tired at around 11:00 at night. Dishes washed, kids tucked in, it’s finally time to relax. When the light hasn’t been sucked out of my eyes, I read. Lately, I veg.
When I get my tired on, I fall into bed with my TV on until the melatonin kicks in. But God is challenging me.
Come away with me.
I like to spend time with God in the morning. When I’m awake, eager and alert. I like to study, pray and write. I have a routine. I like it. But lately I’ve been asking God why I can’t seem to hear Him very well.
Could I be in a rut? Could I have such a groove going that I’m rushing this precious time unintentionally? Could I be operating more out of habit than love? Or maybe God just wants to teach me how choose Him instead of the vegetative state when I’m at the end of me and starting to rock my tired.
I won’t forgo my morning time. I need it for my day. The Word provides fuel to help me go for long hours, new mercies each day for the mini crises that fill my world.
But when I’m weary and can’t string two words together, least bit anything nice, will I go to Him for more? Even before I sleep? I know the principles. When I am weak, He is strong. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Seek and you will find. The end of me is the beginning of Him.
He’s inviting me to open a new gift. Practicing reaching out to Him when I’m done. Done with carpool. Done with homework. Done with dinner. Done with a day. D.o.n.e. Done.
The words to Norah Jones’ song have always wooed me. Come away with me in the night. My answer is yes, Lord, yes.
Norah Jones - Come Away with me
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