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Monday, March 07, 2011

A Rut in My Road

Glancing at the title of Friday’s post, I thought, “Yes, I’m in a rut.” The question it asks is: R U T.i.r.e.d.? But I see rut.

Rut: a depression or groove worn into a road or path (Wikipedia)

Tired finds me in a rut. Depression from walking the same worn path day after day after day settles over me. When I find myself in this place where I put one foot in front of the other because that’s what I’ve always done, I am neglecting certain things while diligently nurturing others.

I dismiss my rut telling everyone I've found a groove. You know the place. You get so much done, you can't stop or slow down for interruptions. No matter who they might be! My groove usually produces vast outer results but leaves an inner disharmony that leads to a giant crash. My house implodes, my family feels needy and neglected and I ignore it all trying to dig myself out of the rut I've created in our road.

I am holding my home together but not cradling it. I am barking orders at my household but not enjoying them.  I am chauffeuring everyone where they need to go but resenting the ride. I am ignoring my soul and certainly not nourishing it. I am putting God on the back burner instead of fixing a cup of tea in the midst of the chaos. My times of devotion become checking a quiet time off a list rather than an intimate conversation between two close friends and lovers.

As my rut gets deeper and deeper, with well-worn grooves, God gently woos me off the well-beaten path to come sit awhile. I usually rock my tired at around 11:00 at night. Dishes washed, kids tucked in, it’s finally time to relax. When the light hasn’t been sucked out of my eyes, I read. Lately, I veg.

When I get my tired on, I fall into bed with my TV on until the melatonin kicks in. But God is challenging me.

Come away with me.

I like to spend time with God in the morning. When I’m awake, eager and alert. I like to study, pray and write. I have a routine. I like it. But lately I’ve been asking God why I can’t seem to hear Him very well.

Could I be in a rut? Could I have such a groove going that I’m rushing this precious time unintentionally? Could I be operating more out of habit than love? Or maybe God just wants to teach me how choose Him instead of the vegetative state when I’m at the end of me and starting to rock my tired.

I won’t forgo my morning time. I need it for my day. The Word provides fuel to help me go for long hours, new mercies each day for the mini crises that fill my world.

But when I’m weary and can’t string two words together, least bit anything nice, will I go to Him for more? Even before I sleep? I know the principles. When I am weak, He is strong. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Seek and you will find. The end of me is the beginning of Him.

He’s inviting me to open a new gift. Practicing reaching out to Him when I’m done. Done with carpool. Done with homework. Done with dinner. Done with a day. D.o.n.e. Done.

The words to Norah Jones’ song have always wooed me. Come away with me in the night. My answer is yes, Lord, yes.



Norah Jones - Come Away with me
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15 comments:

Sara G said...

So cool - thought of the same song when reading your post and then I scrolled down and there was the song! God is working but when I am in a RUT I have to make changes in what I am doing. So for this season I am praying more, doing less (things not needed), challenging myself more and reading more of His word, even at night right before bed.
Thanks for this post! Have a great day Lisa! Hugs and loves, Sara

GLENDA CHILDERS said...

Such a thought provoking piece, Lisa. Ruts, grooves, times and seasons. I have been playing around with the idea of using some of the liturgical prayers to mark my day . . . but I haven't gotten out of my rut enough to actually begin. Today is my day. Thanks for the encouragement.

Fondly,
Glenda

jenny said...

oh yes. I know of the RUTS. And all I can say is "This too shall pass". :) And boy oh boy there are times when I think it never will. and it always does.

It's Grace said...

Oh yes, I can relate to this. I can't wait to get out of these ruts, this pit..whatever it is. I am going to listen to the song you shared..it's been ages since I've heard it.

Visiting from Jen's...

:)Erin

stephanie said...

This is such a beautiful post, and I noticed the beautiful pictures of your family, so precious! Well, at times when I am weary and needing some serious Jesus love, I do this. I read a verse, crack open my bible, literally lay it on my pillow and sleep with my head on the pages. I meditate on the verse, or simply envision myself falling asleep in His arms. This visual has gotten me through some of the most gut wrenching difficult times of my life.

Jenny Roan Forgey said...

i can so relate to this. thank you for sharing. it made me feel known to know that another mom out there reaches the end of herself and knows she has to dig deeper, to find more, on His grace alone! grace to you!

Leah @ Point Ministries said...

I think we all know the RUT in the road and we all struggle with it. For me, getting out of it is intentional. I must do something different than what I always have done. Not to say I won't go back to what I have always done, but it takes a shaking up of the status quo when the status ain't really much to quo about.

Pamela said...

Beautifully written. I, too, find it easier to commune with my Lord in the morning but try to read a praise verse in the evening as I praise Him for the blessings of my day. Many times I journal my praise-prayers to keep from falling asleep. Then I claim the verse, "I will lay me down in peace and sleep." I do get in ruts though and need a new approach to keep my friendship with the Creator fresh. Thank you for this thought provoking post.

Tiffini said...

are you in my heart or what? I think this is a theme song for so many harried women in our country! I love your vulnerability and courage because truthfully...this is where most of us live daily.
appreciate your words!
xo

Heather said...

It is so easy to get caught up in ruts in our day to day life...I'm constantly battling that!

Amy Sullivan said...

Oh sweet Norah can woo me out of just about any rut. I always enjoy stopping by your place, Lisa.

Jen said...

You've really taken a hard look at what it means to be in a rut. I think sometimes I have been in a similar place with you -- calling it a groove. My first clue that it is a rut is exactly what you said -- I have no wriggle room for change. No room to see what God wants me to do, but just pressing on to get done with what I want to get done.

So glad you linked up today, Lisa!!

Amanda Trought said...

This was a lovely post, 'weeping may endure for a night..but joy cometh in the morning' As we come through our ruts we look back and see what gifts have come out of the experience that we can share with others as they go through theirs....

Rachy said...

Actively living, intentionally, is something I have been pondering too. Blessings as you seek God more.

Danielle said...

Just found your blog! Thanks so much for sharing! I feel like I am in a rut too...not sure why...but hear God saying the same thing..."Come on...let's go!"