I told her I was leaving in ten minutes to pick up my daughter. She told me I needed to take him to the car now.
First of all, I was going to watch my son play as much baseball as possible before I left. Secondly, I wasn’t going to put the dog down or let him make a mess. Thirdly, there was no way I was going to allow him to chew up or stink up my car.
I stewed and fumed. My mind educated team mom on how to compose a polite yet unoffensive email to the team the day following the incident in question.
As I climbed into the silence of my car, I started to feel guilty. I replayed the scenario. Words I could have said. Words I should have said. Words I wished I’d have said. Anger. Guilt. Shame. Panic.
I should've apologized. What if my son began receiving poor treatment because of his psycho mom?
Suddenly I heard words. God’s words.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12
I made a decision right there chugging down Highway 149 in the silent but smelly Suburban. I would stop replaying the conversation, stop beating myself up for blowing it and pray.
As I humbly asked God for forgiveness, I received His cleansing. I rejected the thoughts of failure, guilt and shame that tried to tell me what a loser mom I am. I decided I would apologize to the mom next time I saw her. I didn’t burn my phone up searching for her mobile number, email, facebook or twitter accounts. I pushed the stress away when I realized we would miss the very next practice due to spring break.
And last night, I apologized. And she forgave me. But it was so after the fact because I have been living forgiven already for weeks.
Maybe one day we’ll laugh about it together. Or maybe we won’t. But deciding to separate myself from my sin is a choice that is transforming me and will transform me as I get better at it.
That instant, the instant I decided to receive forgiveness and grace and put the whole thing out of my mind, I was reminded of this word.
So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around and shirking authority, thinking you’re above the rules and smarting off to baseball moms life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him…Pure grace and nothing but grace be with all who love our Master, Jesus Christ. Romans 12:1 & Ephesians 6:24 The Message
How have you embraced grace recently?
In the following days I'll share with you what my daughter taught me about east and west forgiveness and what Amber taught me about spiritual gifts. See you back here!