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Friday, February 18, 2011

He turned five

… and my life is filled with new realities, new realms, new possibilities, new horizons, new needs. One of them is his starting school allows me to look for a job.

Yeah. Scary, I know. I’ve spent my adult life bouncing from career to career until selling real estate with Andrew and even there I bounced from place to place within the industry trying to find something that fit. Administration, leasing, sales, buyers, sellers, staging. I like a good comfortable, practical and fashion forward fit. Thankyouverymuch.

I’ve been a teacher, manager, salesman and administrator. None of it got me excited about getting out of bed in the mornings. I liked sales but I hated its hours.

I like to be with my family.

Conflicted, I went to the Lord desperate for an answer, a wave of His hand or a divine intervention to rescue me. I spent yesterday morning weighing pros and cons, contemplating my net worth and seeking God. He showed up in my messy, stale chicken nugget smelling Suburban on Highway 105.

When Andrew and I married, one of our premarital counseling sessions had to do with our greatest needs. I expressed my deepest longing in marriage to have someone really listen to me and understand how my feelings.

Psalm 22 says, “You God—don’t put off my rescue! Hurry and help me! …If you don’t show up soon, I’m done for… [But] He has never let you down, never looked the other way when you were being kicked around. He has never wandered off to do his own thing; he has been right there, listening. Here in this great gathering for worship I have discovered this praise-life. And I’ll do what I promised right here in front of the God-worshipers… As the word is passed along… that God does what he says.”

Yesterday just knowing God was right there listening brought me great comfort. When my soul settled in that comfortable place, I suddenly knew the most practical and fashion forward fit God has for me.

With my heart pounding and my palms sweating, I told God, “Yes!” all over again. This time I was able to say it with authority to the stale chicken nuggets on the floor of my backseat rather than nervously whisper it into the still night air.

As I once again reaffirmed to the Lord my willingness to use the gifts He’s given me to bring Him fame, my anxiety ceased, my procrastination melted and I thanked Him for being a God who is right here.

Oh, look! God's right here helping!
God's on my side
Psalm 54:4

So let God work his will in you… Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out… Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet.
James 4:7-10

Then I called my friend Amber and we had this amazing conversation about spiritual gifts. I’ll tell you the rest of the story next week.


BFM said...

I love this. I'm excited to see where God will take you!

Sandy Cooper said...

Yes, let's talk. I will listen and encourage and totally talk about procrastination and spiritual gifts.

Love, love.

Stacy@hiswaynotmine said...

Oh, how I love how God always answers when we call on Him. Sometimes not so immediately....but He always answers. Praising God with you for how He met you so intimately. Can't wait to hear more.

Much love,