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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Dregs


Backpacking Through Joshua with Amber and friends today.


Dregs: The most worthless part or parts of something. The remnants.

Jolted awake by the alarm clock, my heart races as I jump out of bed and try to find Jesus then feed, dress, shuttle four children, dress myself and head to Bible study.

The study I lead. The study I committed to being at every week. The study where others gather at my initiation. To find God. Early in the morning. Far from home.

As soon as I’m by myself in the car, I pray. The same prayer each time. The cry of my life lately.

God, I really shouldn’t be attempting this. I have so little time. I feel totally unprepared. Totally ill-equipped. Lord, I told you I’d give you all I have. You know all I want is to share the words You give but Lord, I want to do it well. I’m spread so thin. I have so little time. All the time I can find isn’t much. I don’t ever have enough but I do give you the little I have. My offering is so small. It’s pitiful really. God, I need you today. More than ever before I need You.

This scenario is repeated two days each week. This scenario will be repeated again next week when I head out of town for the morning to speak to a group of women.

This scenario is my life.

Rushing.

Racing.

Offering.

Sharing.

The dregs. The dregs of my time. The leftovers. I offer it daily, weekly. It’s not much but it’s all I have. And He’s in that. Miraculously, He’s always in that. In my dregs.

And this place where my lack and His grace intersect is where the greatest ministry takes place. Because where I’m not, He is.

Sometimes I wonder what God is thinking calling this disorganized mother of four and her traveling band of chaos to go. He keeps reminding me over and over it’s my disorganization and my traveling band of chaos that help others relate to me. However, most days it seems they serve only to keep others laughing!

In Joshua 6, God stations His presence [the ark of the covenant, remember?] behind the priests and sandwiched armed guards around them. Sometimes I feel just like the priests. As I go about my day announcing God’s presence and coming victory, He’s right is there behind me. Encouraging me, protecting me and even cleaning up my messes.

I can’t believe He would single out such an unlikely candidate to announce His coming, His nearness, His victory. But He has. This disorganized mother of four will stand barefoot on holy ground even amidst a traveling band of chaos.

And as surely as my weakness meets His abundance ministry will happen.

He will be made famous.

So the LORD was with Joshua Lisa, and His fame spread throughout the land. Joshua 6:27


4 comments:

His Girl said...

girl, we are on the same track.

we even ended our posts with the same scripture.

kiddo1024 said...

And this place where my lack and His grace intersect is where the greatest ministry takes place. Because where I’m not, He is.

AMEN, Sister!

All God ever asks is for us to show up, love Him, love others and let Him do the rest. You could have chosen to stay in bed.

PRESS ON, Sister!

BFM said...

I can relate so much to this post.

And I literally thought about you this morning and wondered how you were doing. :)

Gretchen said...

I don't want to gloss over the fact that you feel like you give God the dregs. Often, I do, too, and I feel sad about that. Because I want to change. Want to put Him first. But you're right in that you were annointed in your announcement of His coming and His presence. You're right that He does take our dregs and turn them into the richest brew ever. Because He can. He takes our faith of a mustard seed and He grows it into a beautiful tree. I also think you may be just a wee bit hard on yourself. God gives us our lives, and He has control. Maybe you're less dreggy than you think. Either way, I lurve ya to pieces.