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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Anniversary

One year ago today, I was here. Waiting.

One year ago today, I was wondering.

One year ago today, I was trying not to worry.

One year ago today, I was very preoccupied.

This is the anniversary of the day I began a wrestling match with God’s goodness and His sovereignty. No matter what the coming days held, did I believe He is who He says He is? The line was being drawn and I either would or I wouldn’t.


It would become my word for last year.

I became well acquainted with fear. I learned to look it in the eyes. I also learned that fear the noun and fear the verb are two completely different monsters. I now know that living in the presence of fear is not being afraid. I learned to hold up the shield of faith to ward off the attacks that fear brings.

For Christmas one of my friends sent me a necklace with this verse inscribed on it: “Take delight in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
Psalm 37:4

I’ve found that I can fight fear with this verse. The deepest desire of my heart is this: “One thing I ask from the LORD,
   this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
   all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD
   and to seek him in his temple.”
Psalm 27:4

The very thing I’ve wrestled fear over, my life, is something fear or even death can never take from me.

As far as the details, I’m not a super saint, I tell the Lord over and over that I want to see my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren grown and serving Him wholeheartedly before I leave this earth. When fear threatens that, I simply tell God again and again and then I quote Psalm 37:4 again.

I’ve been wearing my necklace every day this week. Just knowing this whole week is a crazy type of anniversary, the cancer anniversary, makes my insides all twirly. My throbbing head wants to ignore the whole ordeal but the date on the calendar demands I remember.

Really I think my faith demands it. I’m taking a moment today to sing God praises for bringing me safely to the other side of one of the biggest fears a girl could ever face. Cancer. I’m thanking God that in the face of disaster He is who He says He is. He is good.

I’m also taking a moment today to thank you for being the type of bloggy friends who helped to pull me through. You are the best!

Thankful the anniversary of cancer is a happy one!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

To win a copy of Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst, click here and leave a comment. Winner to be announced on Monday.


Nicole said...

Your strength encourages me, and your writing is such raw and honest emotion. Keep the faith. God is with you!

Leah @ Point Ministries said...

God bless you as you trust Him fully.


Grieser Family said...

I am so inspired to see your faith in Him so strong during this battle. Your faithfulness has me encouraged this morning. Praying with you!!!

Deb said...

Bless your heart Lisa...my anniversaries have always given me an opportunity to sing praise and be grateful all over again for my very life....and reflect on what a powerful, mysterious God we serve. Much love and health to you!

Sonja said...

Happy Anniversary Lisa! It's one you wouldn't have chosen, and yet... how much you have learned about who God REALLY is during this year! I know that the best things I have learned about God have come through circumstances that made me trust in new ways.

Now you go forward again, and the next chapter is emerging, with new faith and new strength for what God has in mind for Lisa!! :)

One year hugs!

Ashley said...

You are winning the battle. Cancer has nothing on you.
Always in my thoughts and prayers.


Shelly @ Life on the Wild Side said...

I for one am grateful for the past year because I got to "meet" a wonderful person with an amazing heart for God. Celebrate today!

Mining for Diamonds said...

It amazes me how God gives us courage to face our darkest fears head on, and causes us to come out "on the other side". Thanks be to God who always causes us to triumph! I'm so glad I found your blog and have gotten to know you over the course of the past year! Your story is very inspiring and powerful. I truly cannot wait to see what God does in your life, even in the near future! Blessings!

Bernie said...

It is hard to believe a year has passed so quickly, I am so thankful how well you are and how well you are doing. God is good my young friend, always keep you in my prayers. Stay well.......:-)Hugs

Stacy said...

It is an honor and privilege to call you sister. You are on the other side. A new woman. A changed woman. A woman standing strong in her Jesus. Look back at all the stones of remembrance and altars of His faithfulness. How awesome that you took those moments to give praise to God.

Praising Him with you today! And celebrating that you are on the other side....healing.

Much love,

Anonymous said...

Hi there,

Thanks for sharing this link - but unfortunately it seems to be not working? Does anybody here at lifeoflisasmith.blogspot.com have a mirror or another source?


Anonymous said...

Hi Lisa. I'm back! (from Backpacking, you know.)

Anyway, as I read this post I kept thinking, "I could have written this and substituted 'nearly 6 years ago'". You captured my thoughts and my emotions as if I had told them to you.

Cancer wasn't my idea of a good time, BUT, my belief about God's goodness and faithfulness and character turned into knowledge and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

So glad to be on this journey with you! I am, of course, referring to backpacking, but if I have to be on the bc journey I may as well like the sisters I'm traveling with. :)

Gretchen said...

Your courage in His will and in boldly sharing your story as He provided for all of your insurance needs, as well as healing your body is something I won't forget, Lisa. Just so you know...God used you in a mighty way in this girl's life. My faith burns a little brighter because of you. Teary and grateful as I reflect on the past year of our friendship. Lurve you oodles. xxxooo