Does my calendar match my priorities? Do I have realistic expectations of myself, of my time, of my goals for this season?
Frustration is my constant companion these days. That tells me I need to change my thinking a bit (okay a lot) or remain grumpy. The turmoil is caused by the tension created by saying yes to God while still managing my chaotic and rather strong-willed crew.
God has called and I know God has a plan; a doable plan that probably relies more on Him and less on me! The trouble is I have heard His voice, I think I understand and I have formulated my own plan. My plan is wreaking havoc with my life so I think I need a new plan. His doable plan will suffice, if I only knew exactly what it is. I’ve been crying out for an answer. Begging for the space. Rearranging for the time. Pushing for results.
Last night I realize maybe I’m going about this the wrong way. Again.
As I open my journal this morning a verse in my own handwriting speaks to me in a new way. An answer to my constant questions. For the first time in a long time I feel silence in my heart. I smile. The raw honesty inventory reveals isn’t heartbreaking anymore it’s freeing. I’m a work in progress.
Trying to make this overwhelmingness of the soul about me is so well, me. My mind isn’t all a jumble because of what I need to do. It’s that way because I’m still learning how He works. I’m still learning to recognize His workings. I’m still learning how to let Him do things for me and in me. I’m once again reminded His work is light; it’s not a burden.
God’s promise to us is this, “I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:30 The Msg)
We will learn together.
“As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work.” Colossians 1:11a The Msg