I’ve been staring at my blank computer screen for hours. Days really.
In just a few hours I will board a plane that will take me one step closer to a dream. When I land I will be in a place I’ve only seen before in my dreams.
I am going with great expectations. I am going scared.
This weekend I will be attending a conference called She Speaks. I know God will meet with me there. He’s made it clear it’s where He would have me this weekend.
And yet, I am scared.
Tomorrow I will get all dressed up in structured clothes and cute pointy-toed shoes to tell my story. I will be giving two talks this weekend. I have one all ready to go. For the other all I have is a blank computer screen and an open heart.
For some reason I’m having trouble putting my story into words. The tears started last night just after midnight and haven’t stopped yet.
I have but one prayer.
Lord, don’t waste this on me. Don’t let me waste this.
You see, as much as I want to know Him, I want to make Him known. I want my life to be a blessing to others. I want it to count.
I feel pressure to be uniquely me in this three-minute talk. I’m just still not sure who me is. After all this time and all the promises God’s so gently placed within my heart, I still can’t figure it out. I feel lost, twelve-years-old. Again.
If you’re like me, you get this feeling. It’s something I’ve wanted for so long and yet, I’m still not quite sure what to do with it! I feel the dream is within my grasp… I pray I don’t let it slip away. If you’ve ever felt this way, please share!
And if you’re going to She Speaks, look for me. I’ll be the girl whipping flip flops out of her purse when no one is looking.
I have put my words in your mouth and covered you with the shadow of my hand Isaiah 51:16