Tonight, the eve of my last radiation treatment, my thoughts are all over the place. My team asked this morning and my husband asked this evening. Am I excited?
Yeah. I am. I’m not all jumpy and spastic and stuff because I’m, well, tired, sore and a little melancholy too. Pain just throws me for a loop. I don’t know how to celebrate this so I’m taking some time to process it tonight.
I definitely felt like today was worth celebrating. I was tired. The drive was tough. The kids were exceptionally well behaved. It’s like they knew. Mom’s had her limit. Be kind. Be helpful. They did. They were.
This afternoon we explored the joys of redbox. We rented three movies. We sat in a pile on the couch in the dark and watched. Thanks to the good doc and cute nurse Mitzi, I was able to reach a combo of pain meds and bandages that worked and I dozed a bit. A good sleep always seems to help my perspective. And my energy level. If I get this right tonight and I’m able to sleep all night I might just be perky, jumpy and a little spastic in the morning.
I haven’t slept in quite a few days due to pain. When I can get my pain under control the itching is completely insane. When I can get the pain meds to make a feel slightly woozy, I can’t get comfortable enough to sleep more than fifteen or twenty minutes. And so it’s been for the last several nights. Cat naps. I don’t like cats.
On a side note, thank you all for all your suggestions on how to treat radiation dermatitis. I am always open to what worked for you. I will try anything. And this afternoon I actually feel better than I did yesterday. That’s a praise. Thank you, Lord!
Maybe the normal thing to do the eve before you finish treatment is just what I’ve been doing. Sit in a pile on the couch with those you love most and just rest in their love and be thankful that treatment is almost done and there are more days to enjoy one another.
I found myself here today. In Psalm 143.
“I ponder all your great works and think about what you have done. I lift my hands to you in prayer. I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain…May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life.” Verses 5, 6, 10 &11