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Friday, May 28, 2010

Running on Empty

I have a list. This is a series of things I want to do. For example, I want to paint my toenails, go to the local Walmart, make all the beds in my house, fold some baskets of laundry and pick the toys up off the upstairs floor. I want to work on several writing projects, read a couple of books and take my daughter to Justice and the new shoe store I found the other day. And I want to run like I used to, training for a marathon. If I only had the time…

My husband asked me something this morning. He asked me if I ever thought about running any more. It was a nice way of wanting to know if I plan on running my "turning 40" marathon anytime soon.

You see, I haven’t run one.single.solitary mile since starting radiation and moving. That’s sad. I just honestly left anything that resembled a routine behind when I moved to the lake. I had grand visions of running around this beautiful body of water here. Or at least, running in my sauna-of-a-garage on my nifty, new-to-me treadmill.

We moved in and the awesome treadmill is too big to fit down the stairs. So for weeks it has remained sandwiched between bunk beds and boxes. Upstairs. Next week is the golden week. That’s when some movers are supposed to come and work moving magic on my treadmill. Next week I hope I can huff and puff one mile out since it’s already in the upper nineties here. It’s too bad I can’t seem to find a time when I can take off and explore the lake. Although, I’m sure that will come. So for now, I’m looking forward to the nice sweat I am sure to work up in my garage. I’ll keep you posted.

My husband had to politely ask me that because I haven’t talked about it much lately. I haven’t talked about much lately. When I’m tired, run ragged, mentally and physically exhausted, my words deflate. They leave. I get linguistically challenged. I answer in short, snippy answers. Just getting those rather rude answers out gets laborious. It’s sad. The cure is to spend time totally silent. Alone. I guess you could say that I’m an introverted extrovert. (Thankfully, my husband gives me grace... and time alone!)

Anyway, the reason I can fight cancer to the curb once and for all without worrying about running a marathon is because of this guy. He is a fellow sarcoma survivor I "met" online. I read his website and found something I could identify with. I emailed him. The week we spoke by phone, I was rather down, my mind spinning circles about the future effects of the toxic radiation treatments I would soon be receiving. His words helped me. He told me to just do what was required for today and when tomorrow comes, we will have found a cure. Together.

That’s what he does. He races for a cure. This weekend he’s running (and swimming and biking) a triathlon. In my honor. His words to me a few weeks ago were these, “You fight and don’t worry about running. We’re running for you.”

And when I’m well, Team Endure will be running with me! How awesome is that?

And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ Acts 20:35


Cecelia said...

That's great, Lisa! What a nice husband you have. Maybe just looking at that lake will help you! I don't even try to walk anymore and I bought one of those big recumbant bikes, and it's just sitting there. I thought that I could easlily do those exercises from therapy at home, on my own. Ha! I need someone to tell me "Go over here and do this so many times", etc. I'd rather sit, draw, paint, watch tv, and sleep! My sister got all the athletic interests. We're totally opposite. I had to tell myself I had to act like a PE person to even put on shorts and sports shoes, much less go do the exercises.
Next week will be a year since I had my heart problem, and I'm really back sliding!
You are an inspiration though, with all that you are doing or planning to do. You will be running and doing the things you love! And enjoying that lake.
We bought a place near a creek, and all I can think about is water moccasins and floods! Can't even think of enjoying the wildlife, cattle, or even a new house!

Bernie said...

I loved reading Kirk's story, I can see how he would be a real inspiration to you....as you are to all of us.
Happy Memorial Weekend.....always in my heart and prayers.....:-)Hugs

Denise said...

That is beyond awesome sis. I love you.

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Totally, totally cool, dear Lisa...and don't worry about the running...I tried a few times during chemo...stooooopid...turned into more of a silly walk...posing as a run...LOL...There will be plenty of time for running after the treatment is over...This is just short term...remind yourself of that!!! Love you so much...and continue to pray for you! Janine XO

Nicole said...

God bless you. I pray for a full recovery in Jesus Name! Thank God for people who run for the cure!

Connie Barris said...


I don't know how I got here other than to say, by way of my Heavenly Father.... I will be praying for you...

I have walked along side many friends, family and soon to be friends with similar diseases... I will lift you up any way you ask and in ways God puts on my heart...

You too sound as if you are a Storm Dancer!!!

God bless you

Deborah said...

So nice to meet you Lisa...I dont know how I got here....but I must say He led me here, and Im glad.
You are such a blessing!
Im following you...
cant wait to get to know you more...:)

Your sister in Christ,
Deborah \0/ xo

Mary Nelson said...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 ... and that would be walking, running, crawling... :)

Karen said...

Lisa the Lord has surrounded you with His band of healing Angels......YOU will beat this dragon I just know it!.....when you have a minute check out the picture of my newest grandson. I just posted it on my blog.

Sweet Jesus surround Lisa with your love and healing powers.Remind her often that you will be carrying her burdens for her and grant her peace and comfort.....Amen

Gretchen said...

Hey Sis...I'm so encouraged for you on Team Endure! I also am empathizing with your extroverted introvertness. THAT'S ME, TOO! :)

I'm gently going to remind you to give yourself and your "schedule" a break. I know you know this...but it bears repeating: you've gone thru 2 of the highest stressors you could possibly go thru, pretty much simultaneously. You can do this. But you don't have to do it all in one hour. love you.