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Thursday, April 01, 2010

In Anticipation of Good Friday

Tomorrow morning I am leaving bright and early for Houston. I’m just taking x-rays. Not really even that big of a deal. A series of x-rays is nothing.

Except in my case. A series of x-rays at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston is a miracle. Honestly, every procedure I’ve had done at MDACC is miraculous in nature so I know they won’t be ordinary x-rays. The techs will spend lots of time with me. They may even explain what they see on the x-rays or tell me there is nothing abnormal there to explain the pain I’ve been having.

Just entering the hospital and paying my co-pay without having to sit around a conference table with a bunch of advocates will be nice. I will definitely celebrate the fact that I have insurance benefits that allow me to pay a simple co-pay without having to negotiate a bill.

I am feeling weird. My emotions are crashing around me. Fear, anxiety, gratefulness, thanksgiving, excitement. The whole nesting feeling is returning in full force. I feel the need ot have a “plan,” to get settled, to be ready for what is to come. The idea of it makes me laugh. I haven’t been ready for any of this so far. I don’t think there is way to prepare for having cancer, receiving a diagnosis or beginning a treatment. I don’t think there is a single person who wouldn’t feel this way. I want my “life” taken care of so I can focus on fighting cancer. The reality is life happens and keeps happening. The show must go on so I will focus on placing one foot in front of the other. I will celebrate the moments and quit trying to put a period at the end of the sentence.

Today’s celebration is the ease with which I get to walk into MDACC, visit the people who saved my life a little over a month ago and be thankful. Period.

The fact that this monumental occurrence is happening on Good Friday is not lost on me. This day signifies miracles. This day signifies the life that is coming. This day signifies hope. The hope of what’s coming…

As Jesus said, “…and on the third day I will reach my goal.”

I'm looking forward to "the third day" in my own life.

“Today and tomorrow I'm busy clearing out the demons and healing the sick; the third day I'm wrapping things up. “ Luke 13:32 The Message

9 comments:

Denise said...

I love you sis.

Angie Love said...

Friend you are especially on my mind this weekend as I prepare to honor you amongst other amazingly strong women. I will send pictures your way, but know sunflowers will adorn my tables in vases tied with leopard print bows.
I will be celebrating your Good Friday on our Good Friday.
Love you!

Gigi said...

Put on the full armor of God and prepare to continue waging war against cancer! That is how my Sweet Hubby and I saw it...how we lived it every day. In fact, every website, every support group, every research site from our fight against his pancreatic cancer is still saved on my computer in a file labeled "Battle Plan." Because that's exactly what it was.

God bless you as you enter MDA tomorrow. May you feel His precious peace all around you and know He is your Divine Healer. xo

Jennifer said...

Great things are coming indeed!

Angel Muly said...

The Lords hand is on you and you are right it isn't an accident that you will be there starting this on Good Friday. I am praying for you, Lisa!!
Love, Angel

Ashley said...

Lisa, you have been on my mind so much. I think you have an amazing strength. You will win this fight. You are going to have a Good Friday.
Praying your Uncle is doing better.
Hugs.
Ashley

Bernie said...

Will have you in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow as always, drive safe and be strong.....:-) Hugs

Alissa said...

Thanks for posting this great reminder of the meaning of Easter....I have kept myself so busy lately that I sadly haven't allowed my mind to focus on it yet. And Lisa, thanks also for your sweet comment on our blog. I saw your button yesterday at the top of a blog I was visiting, and instantly recognized your face. I cannot remember either where we knew each other from! Yes, definitely from B/CS...I graduated from Bryan High in 1997 and from A&M in 2002. Your maiden name seems more familiar than your married name. I can even remember the sound of your voice but can't picture where I knew you from. I know it will pop into my head one day! Anyway, I'm praying for you in this battle....you are an inspiration!

Friends said...

God Bless you and we wish you well from your friends at The Bridge. This blog is a statement of positivity and we truly wish you well in your struggle. This is a wonderful blog and I'm glad to have found it.