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Thursday, February 04, 2010

Handpicked: Part 2

I truly believe with all my heart that all my life’s experiences have prepared me for this point. Walking through this diagnosis is not something I expect to be easy.

As a matter of fact, I have experienced a gamut of emotions in just the last couple of days. I’ve had long periods where I know everything will be alright. I just know I can do this. And then I have days like Tuesday where all I can do is sob and grieve and desire to quit fighting.

And then yesterday. Yesterday I felt hopeful and I felt positive but I felt tired. I felt very, very weary. I felt detached. I couldn’t feel anything. No tears. There was laughter (thank you, Amy!). But it was all superficial. You know, I missed the deep.

And in this, I had moments of deep knowingness. Where I knew that I knew that I knew. Understand? Sometimes you just know. This is one way I know this time. I know that I have not been forgotten. I am walking a path handpicked by the hand of God just for me.

Now you are all familiar with my love of sunflowers. They are just so “me.” When Andrew and I were looking at cancer ribbons a few nights ago, this is what we found.



The ribbon for sarcoma is yellow with a sunflower.

"Who knows? Maybe you were made…for just such a time as this…God's gifts and God's call are under full warranty—never canceled, never rescinded." Esther 4:14 & Romans 11:29

Dancing in the Son,

29 comments:

Sheryl said...

NO. WAY!! my mouth hangs open in awe of how God is in each detail. and within those details how HE desires that you know and feel His love.

i am praying! love you, lisa.

Melanie said...

Oh Lisa, my friend. My heart aches for you and your family. My voice cries out to Our Father on your behalf. I know he hears us when we pray. We pray His Word and we believe it. We trust Him through tears. We praise Him because He is always worthy of our praise.
It is by His stripes you are healed.
Love,
Melanie

Cherie Hill said...

Lisa...as I read your blog...the lyrics to "You're Not Alone"...just seemed fitting...

You're not alone
for I am here
let me wipe away your every fear
My love I've never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest night
and I'm the one who's loved you all your life


Continuing to pray dear sister.
With love,
Cherie

B His Girl said...

God gave you a sunflower. Only God can speak like that. There is no one like Him. Wow Lisa! May God give you strength this day and healing in your body. He is with you. hugs, b

Faye said...

Lisa God is with you every step of the way..I love the yellow ribbon..We are all praying for you..WOW..what a testimony you will have when this is all over..Love you:)

sonja said...

Lisa:

It's Gods git to you, this sunflower! No question! Sometimes, like you said, you just KNOW that you KNOW that you KNOW! It's from Him!

Love and praying right now...

Sonja

TRUTH SHARER said...

Lisa:

God, indeed is speaking loudly! He is showing Himself in everything that you love and know to be of Him! He's got you! He's in your corner and NOTHING will touch your life unless He permits it for a greater purpose. Never easy - but it's His plan.

Ask Him daily - "where to today, Lord? What is the path for today?"

We are all praying for you daily. I love when God speaks to a weary heart like that.... and yes, you know that you know that you know
- His Presence is EVERYTHING!

Blessings and Favor be yours today.
Choosing JOY, Stephanie
JESUS ONLY in 2010

Mary Nelson said...

Praising God for His full warranty, never cancelled, never rescinded and praying for a wonderful date in SA! I agree that it will top the first! ;) Love you!

Raymona Calvert said...

Lisa,
I come to read your blog, and leave you a message of encouragement, and I am the one who is encouraged! You are such an inspiration to all of us. I know God is working in all of this, and He knows how to give GOOD gifts to His children. I'm expecting the best gifts for you!
Raymona Calvert

Jamie @ Six Bricks High said...

Lisa, I am praying for you as you experience the vast array of emotions! I've been blessed and encouraged as I read your words this morning. 'Handpicked'...so very true!

Andrea said...

Truly, every detail in our lives is important to GOD.
Storming the heavens on your behalf,
andrea

Jen said...

I want so badly to say "that is unbelievable about the sunflower!!!" -- but I can't, because it is SO like God to make all the small details absolutely perfect and meaningful. I love, love, LOVE that!!
And I love you, friend, and am continuing to lift you up to the hands of the Great Physician. xoxo

Donna said...

Lisa,

I just found your site a few days ago and am in such awe of your faith and stand with God. You are an amazing woman - daughter of the Most High King! Your words have encouraged and stretched me - stretch in that I need to worship in all things. Here you are fighting this battle, in this fire, and your words flow with worship. I believe with you that you are here for such a time as this. Know that you are in my prayers. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. What a blessing!

Blessings to you and your family!

nancygrayce said...

Each day, I am more and more amazed at how God is moving in your situation! I am praying!

kristilea said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your recent news. We do serve an extraordinary God, and the best Physician of all time! My prayers go out to you as you go through this journey and I'm so glad to see that you are leaning on God, and He is already answering your prayers and sustaining you when you need it the most!

Tea With Tiffany said...

God sees you, Lisa. I believe He will touch your life in even more special ways as you run to Him. His love for you is endless. His songs sing forever. You are HIS prize, His precious one. Thank you, Jesus, for the sunflower. What a sweet way to smile on Lisa during this time. She needed it. You provided.

Holding you up in prayer,

Tiffany

Alleluiabelle said...

Sweet Sister,

He continues to put me awe everywhere I turn and here, especially today as my sister is having her surgery right now, your testimony of the many things He is continuing to do makes me reach my hands ever so high into the heavens with an almighty singing of praising and thanksgiving to Him.

As Sonja said, "Sometimes, like you said, you just KNOW that you KNOW that you KNOW! It's from Him!"
And you are passing that on to us to grasp on to as well.

I'm praying fervently for you my sweet sister as I have come to love you so very much.

May His peace and joy flood your mind, heart and soul today despite your storm.

Big Hugs,
Alleluiabelle

Bev Brandon said...

I've committed to pray for you every day Lisa! It's a battle and He has already won and you are winning girl! Yes you are! You are not covering up your fears but your praising HIM in the midst and that is beautiful. Your post was so very sweet to me about His Presence. Fears and tears are not the mark of immaturity---the battle is on. A friend of mine says: When the Holy Spirit works in us, there is always a tremendous cost to the people of God---weariness, tears and battles. You're beautiful Lisa. I read this verse this a.m.---Rev 1:9---we are companions in the suffering & Kingdom & patient endurance that are ours in Jesus. May patient endurance be all over you this day.

Leslie Pruitt said...

Hey Lisa, now that is just God showing off!! Please know that my mom(Aloha) and sister(Susan, remember them?) are also praying for you. And also my women's Bible study. Oh and me too!

Sometimes God is just a little bit scary!
Love, Leslie

Tea With Tiffany said...

Sending prayers your way today. I posted a note on my blog with a picture for you!

Bernie said...

Lisa I had tears in my eyes when I saw the ribbon for sacoma....it all just seemed to fit with everything right now doesn't it..it also tells me God knows you will use this horrible disease for his purpose....it can't get any better than that sweetie, just to be doing God's will is such a blessing...luv you
Always in my heart and prayers...Hugs

Queenmothermamaw said...

Did so love your story of the sunflowers. Lisa your strength will be tested and become your anchor as you and your family go through this. I am a retired nurse, had many, many oncology patients. I was blessed by their experiences and feel that I added to their blessings during that time. We pray for all involved with your care.
QMM

Gretchen said...

What a God hug. Right when you needed it. There He was. Amazing.

homeschool101 said...

May Gods peace and comfort rest with in you and surround you and your family. I will stand in agreement with you and others reaching the heavens on your behalf. These scriptures I wanted to share with you as I read over your post.

God is on the throne and He is in complete control over every area of your lifes circumstance. I will add a prayer button on my blog for you. Hang in there friend. God Bless you!

Romans 8:24 Psalm 91: 1-2, Psalm 121

Laura said...

I'm praying for you, sweet friend. These little signposts He drops in your lap are His tender reminders He will never leave you. What grace you show, such an inspiration.

I am lifting you up!

Carol Joy said...

The sunflower has always been my husband's favorite. It reminds him of something healthy, beautiful, strong, and vibrant. One year he threw some seed in the ground and they grew so tall that they stood like a painting of orange/yellow beauty amongst the blue sky behind. And he's not even a gardener! I think this chosen flower represents you. I am praying along with every single blogger for all that this flower represents.
xxxxxxx
Carol Joy

Lindsey @ A New Life said...

What a sweet reminder of God's love for you, precious girl. Love you & praying!

Renee Swope said...

WOW!!! Precious friend. I am so very thankful for this gift from your Father in Heaven who LOVES you!!!

Thank you Jesus for being so personal, so present and so faithful to Lisa in this time. ONLY YOU knew her favorite flower would be handpicked for the ribbon that would represent her cancer journey.

Lisa, I am praying that your roots which have grown so deep into the soil of God's unfailing love and the richness of HIS life-changing WORD over these past few years would strengthen you for today and supply from streams of Living water the nourishment and strength you need each day. That you would find yourself in the midst of PEACE that surpasses understanding.

I am so sorry you are having to fight so hard to get what you need and deserve. We are holding your hands up and we will all fight with you. ASKING and Believing BIG for God's provision for you and your beautiful family!

Love, Renee

Denise said...

God is sending you much love sis.