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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Birthday Bliss

Well, this is it, the eve of my 39th birthday, the marking of the beginning of the end of my thirties.

The thirties have been, for me, a decade of motherhood. Having babies, nursing babies, changing babies, rocking babies, bathing babies, dressing babies, feeding babies and all other baby related activities have dominated the last ten years. Saying goodbye to my thirties is also saying goodbye to an era of my life. Next year Palmer will start school. Wow!

Ten years ago I wasn’t even thinking about entering my thirties. I was busy mothering my firstborn through those bleary, sleepless nights. I was full of joyful bliss at the sight of my precious little bundle. Turning thirty didn’t bother me at all. I was right where I’d always wanted to be. Finally.

As I woke up in the early hours of the morning on my twenty-ninth birthday to feed a crying baby, I flipped on the TV to discover that the bonfire tragedy at Texas A&M had occurred. I watched in horror as the newscasters announced the deaths of one Aggie after another. I spent my birthday weeping (hormonal tears of real grief) over other mothers’ children. I held my own child tighter and said a few more prayers.

I learned a valuable lesson that day. I saw with fresh eyes the truth. We are not promised tomorrow. I decided on a very deep level that the thirties would be my decade to live on purpose. Each day I would hold my children, talk to my husband and embrace my place. I wanted to intentionally say each day that I had no regrets.

I’m not quite sure how I have fared at this challenge. I see the slightest bit of improvement, just enough to encourage me instead of leaving me feeling defeated. I certainly have gone to be with regrets but I have also learned many lessons. Each day starts fresh with a clean slate. If it was messed up yesterday, it can be fixed today. It’s never too late to say things like, “ I love you” or “I’m sorry.” Time is something that you can’t ever get back; once an opportunity passes, it’s gone forever. Words are something you can’t ever take back.

As I go to bed tonight, having 365 more days of thirty, I can honestly say I’m excited. Excited at the possibilities of tomorrow and excited about the hope from today.

This is God's work. We rub our eyes—we can hardly believe it! This is the very day God acted— let's celebrate and be festive! Salvation now, God. Salvation now! Oh yes, God—a free and full life!

from Psalm 118

1 comment:

Andrea said...

Age is only a number...it is what we do while at that number that's important!
Happy Birthday and GOD BLESS,
andrea