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Thursday, March 26, 2009

My Story Monday--My Story His Word

Monday--March 30,2009
Catch up here.

Have you ever thought about your story? Where do you fit into history? His story?

I wanted my story within His Story. A few years ago, I began a journey to see God's Word through new eyes.

As I began the quest I read and reread stories of different characters Hannah...David... Elizabeth...Mary...Ruth...Esther...Jacob...Leah...Rachel and many more. I've always felt some identity with each of these Bible characters.

People who rejoiced when God fulfilled the desires of their hearts. People who girded themselves up for the battle God had called them to fight. People who gave all they had to the Lord and He gave back. People who were chosen and blessed beyond what they could have imagined. People who pressed into the Lord when the suffering was unimaginable and then danced with joy once more. Through grief, pain, heartache and triumph they sought the Lord and He answered.

Somewhere along the journey I realized very suddenly,"He showed me all I ever did." (John 4:29)
It was a truth embedded in my heart with a hidden meaning which I needed wisdom, the Spirit of Truth, to reveal to me. Suddenly, out of nowhere I got it. "He showed me all I ever did!"

I've heard the story of the woman at the well (John 4:7-29) since I was a little girl. That phrase, "He showed me all I ever did" always stuck out to me.

I know all of my sins. I realize I am very far from perfect. I totally get that I turn to all sorts of other people and things before I turn to Jesus. I get it. Why, Why, Why would she REJOICE and TELL OTHERS that Jesus repeated to her all that she, especially she who had had five husbands and a new live-in boyfriend in her never-ending quest for happiness and acceptance, ever did? Why? That was always the question I asked when reading this story.

Then in an instant the meaning was revealed. My life was changed. I understood. He didn't repeat all she'd ever done. He revealed it. He uncovered her heart's motives, hidden meanings, wrong-thinking patterns and rote habits that were sinful. Haven't you ever discovered you were doing something simply because it was familiar not necessarily knowing if there was a different or perhaps better way?

Sin, ugly, dark behavior that was holding me back from wholeheartedly seeking my sweet, precious Lord was revealed to me in an instant. Once the deep, secretive, sinful behavior is brought to the surface and into the light, the very presence of God, it no longer possesses the power of darkness over our hearts. Deep revelation leads to repentance and change in our lives. Repentance means, "to turn from"...if we know what we are doing wrong, we can turn from it and do it a better way!

What He revealed to me was simply a way that I had perceived my life incorrectly. I had misjudged my role. My life was laden with the responsibility of trying to help my loved ones in an unhealthy way. I had been taking responsibility for things that I could not correct. I simply needed to accept some things. I realized that I needed to make decisions in a new way. I needed to just let some things be.

Trying to change a circumstance, to make right what I had not wronged, to fix what someone else had broken all the while becoming more and more frustrated with myself and all those around me, I realized, this is all I ever did. I saw my sin and it was incredibly sweet, effortless and healing. I was free to hate my sin and feel incredibly loved.

I had never felt so loved, so free, so different! I was a changed woman.

"In kindness He takes us firmly by the hand and leads us into a radical life-change." (Romans 2:4)

The woman that was so ashamed she had to draw water at midday all alone so she wouldn't have to talk to anyone was now running through town telling all, "Come, meet the man who told me all I ever did!" (John 4:29)

Amazing.
Life-changing.
Liberating.
Loving.
I invite you to come, meet the One who showed me all I ever did.

My Story
"but whoever drinks this water will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." (John 4:14)

I am the woman at the well
Past secrets too dark to ever tell

I draw water at midday
Hoping no one comes my way

Sin and shame a heavy weight
Loneliness and frustration, twins I hate

Lost in thought, eyes cast down
Who's this Stranger come to town?

He speaks of living without thirst
Will He heal my pain and hurt?

He asks my name; I reply smart
How could He know my very heart?

He speaks of how life has been
I see all my hidden sin

Motives, reasoning, thoughts...all lies
Truth laid bare before my eyes

Here I find Life that's true
As I begin to walk anew

Then I run...telling all to "Come,
Meet the One who showed all I've done!"

No one ever has to thirst
Just seek Living Water first

"Many...believed in Him because of the woman's testimony, 'He told me everything I ever did.'" (John 4:39)

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've been reading your story for months...not sure how I first found your blog. But the past several weeks have moved me deeply. Thank you for sharing yourself so openly. I've been drawn back to your blog time and time again and am always grateful for it and you.
Blessings,
Ann

Kathryn Taylor said...

You really have the gift of writing, communication, teaching, and all sorts of other things. You're not only good with words, you are great at seeing God in everything.

I love you from afar.

Melanie said...

I appreciated reading your insight.
This is one of my favorite passages on Jesus interacting with woman.

I wrote about it here:

http://bellamella-melanie.blogspot.com/2008/11/monday-magnificat.html

Wilhelmine Mitchell said...

I belive I'll claim you not only as a fellow child of God, but also as a child of mine. I am so proud of you!