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Monday, November 05, 2007

A Tangled Mess

The last few weeks have been hard.




I hate feeling frustrated. Usually when I am feeling this way I can pinpoint a sin in my life that is or has been a habit causing me stress. This is just how the Holy Spirit tells me there is a better way. I feel overwhelmed by life. I stop. I pray. God answers. I continue on in a new, less frustrating way.

So, as I felt increasing stress, I began to pray. I cried out to the Lord to help me. To enlighten me. To open my eyes to the sin entangling me and causing me not to run!

Because I was feeling overwhelmed with responsibility, I began asking the Lord where to find the time. What needed to go and what needed to be rearranged.

The first time I prayed this prayer, God told me to take my kids out of their children's day out program. I did. I cried. God blessed me so unbelievably for honoring Him with my schedule. I know that if I ask him where to find the time, money, sin or car keys He will answer.

I did this for days, weeks, months confident that in just the right time, God would answer.

As I was sharing with a friend my dilemma she says, "Perhaps God is teaching you to manage more instead of do less."

Ding, ding, ding!

The Holy Spirit agreed with that statement. I felt it. I felt Him.

Again, dread.

If this is what God is teaching me, why am I not doing it well?

More searching.

More asking.

What was I doing wrong?

Then, Hebrews 12:1 popped into my head. "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

Sometimes the sin entangling us is the result of living in fallen world. Financial stress even when we're honoring God with our finances. Tiredness even when we've trimmed our schedules as much as we can. Forgetfulness even when we're organized.

I'd always thought the entangling sin and everything hindering me from living the victorious life were temptations struggle with personally.

This revelation was very freeing to me.

God is teaching me to run freely...

and to manage more!


Kathryn, Michael & Alex said...

I will never forget one of the first stories I heard you tell so many years ago at Cindy Brantley's house about one of the retreats or worship services that you went to and when you went to the altar you were flinging off your jewelry and everything and you were saying "no hindrances Lord".

We are saying "no hindrances in this race we are running Lord".

If He calls you to more, you
will be able to handle more...gracefully.

I love you!!!

Wilhelmine Mitchell said...

I really like being able to read all about the happenings with you and Andy and the family. The pictures keep me updated on their growth. Thank you!

Renee Heaton said...

Wow, I think you are writing this one from notes out of MY head!