Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21
Well, ummm, busy.
Looking high and low.
Behind every door...
In every closet...
Under every rug...
I've moved every piece of furniture that has been there for so long that no one sees it any more.
I've been examining...
My life. The life I created for Barbie and Ken so many years ago. The dream, the dreamhouse and the dreamy life have all been dissected, analyzed and appropriately, renamed, after real people not Barbie dolls.
As I was comparing the life I have to the life that I dreamt my life would be, I started with the dream life...
Christian Barbie and Christian Ken would get married and have Christian kids, lots of them. They would serve one another and serve God in the church and in the world. They would dress their kids in coordinating outfits to lead others in worship. Barbie and Ken would have a wonderful traditional life worshiping the God they loved with their whole hearts. Just the beginning of the dream, but the part where I woke up screaming...
Would somebody please tell me where Barbie and Ken went?
The life that I had meticulously planned out many years ago before I ever lived one of the days has changed. It looks dramatically different from the blueprint I created.
As I watched those around me live out what I thought my life should look like, I adopted their plans, worked them into my blueprint.
Mine was a life built on the firm foundation of God's Word. What I failed to scrutinize were the motives behind the plans. What I discovered was a life that served myself and my broken places more than it really served the God I love with all my heart.
A couple of months ago, I sat in a place that I really didn't want to be sitting. I sat there out of obedience to God. I willed my heart to yield to His Spirit. I forced my body to obey as I waited for my heart to come into compliance. As I sat, I heard God's voice. He said, "If you yield to me in obedience, I will make you more successful than your wildest dreams." (More on this experience in a later post.)
That's it. He says it over and over again in Scripture. He said it to Abraham, Elijah, David, Solomon, Nehemiah, Samson and many other men and women throughout the ages. As I heard it I reasoned it in my mind. I measured success. I defined it in my way. I thought I didn't need success.
I was wrong.
Or, the success I thought I wanted is not what God says I need.
This is where the searching frenzy began. It began with the realization that the life I am living looks nothing like the life I created. I kind of freaked. I mean the resemblance is there but my original plan has been drastically altered.
In the throes of my frenzy I made a few discoveries.
What I discovered was that the Master Architect has much more than my platonic happiness in mind when he designs, builds and remodels a life.
What the four walls of my life look like are much less important than what the inside of my heart looks like.
The roles I play and the routines I create for my days are of much less value than the motives and attitudes with which I live them.
There are many laws in God's Word that are written in black and white. There are many other questions we take to the Lord that we can break down into black and white issues. Although the issue in question remains a question. Thus, what might be sin for one is not for another. Ultimately, if we can do something without sin in our hearts and sin on our hands, we are free to do so. Just because something is different doesn't make it wrong. If God is calling me to do something, I must obey. My body must obey until my heart willingly accepts the circumstance in which I live.
What I found when I examined my life was a life built on a firm foundation of Scripture, but a life that I was also using to serve myself in many more ways than I cared to admit. I must constantly take time to listen to my heart, question my heart and purify my heart in order that God's purpose may be fulfilled in my life.
So, the searching is over and completed for now. My blueprint has been destroyed. The Architect has been consulted. I am trusting the Words of the True Professional and my hammer and nails have been placed happily in His Hands.
at 3:20 PM