Here Andrew and I are taking a much needed, much enjoyed rest in Galveston. A weekend investment in the marriage...so much fun and so very relaxing. We are very appreciative to Andrew's parents for keeping all four kids, entertaining them with tennis, swimming, golf, food, fun and activities galore and for allowing us to get away...Thanks Cris and Linda. Thanks for your sacrifice of time and love. We appreciate it and are so grateful for your presence in our lives. We love you!
It was time to reenergize, refocus and reconnect. I was so reminded of the steadiness of God in our frantic pace and anagonizing waits of life. Just as the waves c0me in and go out without stopping, our God is the same yesterday, today and forever a steady presence in our lives, a steady voice in our hearts.
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
To fully rely on god, we must not allow ourselves to rely on anyone or anything else...at all. Not even a little bit.
For God's grace to be sufficient to overcome the thorns in the flesh, we must let it be so. We must allow God's grace to become sufficient. If we are trying to overcome anything on our own, we are not relying on God or His grace.
For the last month or so my photos have been blurry. I thought my really cool, expensive, new digital camera was breaking. Too much time in the sun, too many little hands and too much time in a cluttered purse/diaper bag are all things that can break a nice camera.
My life is filled with forgetting to bring things in from the car, lots of sometimes grabby little hands and a really big, full, disorganized and extremely cluttered purse/diaper bag.
This last picture of all four kids is super poor quality. I must've taken 25 pictures trying to get a good one. I moved the kids from room to room, made them pretend to be statues and adjusted the lighting many, many times.
Then I actually read the whole owners' manual and looked up information on the Internet to troubleshoot problems with my model camera while taking the time to reprogram the entire thing reading slowly and deliberately through each menu and setting on my deluxe, way complicated, over-my-head digital camera.
After all this, I concluded that my camera was broken.
I was really bummed.
My camera is really cool.
Andrew comes home, looks at my blog and tells me what a horrible photo that is of the kids.
I break the bad news...the camera is broken.
He asks me if I tried cleaning the lens first.
Good new is that is the lens was smudgy. Bad news is that I totally wasted a ton of time researching a dirty lens.
That got me to thinking. Sometimes I feel yucky and icky. I lose my temper. I am dissatisfied with my life. It's hard for me to serve my family in love. How could anybody want to be around me during these times? I don't even like to be around me sometimes.
During these times I can sulk accepting it as a "bad mood," I can pray for God to empower me and change me, then I can read the Bible for answers in how to overcome these sinful habits and attitudes with pure ones.
If my heart is smudgy, my eyes are foggy and my attitude is dimmed, I can read God's Word all day and never be clearly focused on my purpose.
Just like my camera.
I can accept the poor quality pictures as the best, research how to fix it to no avail and finally resign myself to its brokenness...or I can just carefully keep my lens, the place from where I view my life, clean and safe.
I pray each day that I will not accept the brokenness in my life as a reality. I pray that God's Word would penetrate my heart and bring revelation to the areas in my heart and life that need forever changing. I pray that I would never settle for less than God would have for me as the quality of my life and relationships.
I pray I will be fully reliant on the power of the Holy Spirit to live my life. I pray I will not try to fix things on my own with my own foolish ways. I pray I will always see God's Word as a living connection to a living God and not just a book of instructions and rules to a better life. I pray will always pray before acting on my own.
May I always fully rely on God.
May I learn how to see clearly with an eternal perspective until the veil is lifted from my eyes.
"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."
1 Corinthians 13:12