The determination of life's course. The questions. Did I hear from God? Had I made the right choices?
I had majors and careers, spouses or lack of a spouse and the future and the unknown on my mind. I even felt some disappointment that I wasn't more confident at the prospects of what lie ahead.
I knew who God was. I believed God's promises applied to my future. But, still I wasn't feeling it.
I had searched the Scriptures, asked the older-and-wisers in my life, observed the cloud of witnesses that was surrounding me and sought a multitude of wise counsel for answers and direction.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1
What He offers is a blueprint for a beautiful heart. We are looking to a God who dwells in spirit to lead a life lived in flesh. What he offers is freedom from the fleshly stipulations that so preoccupy our minds.
"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matthew 10:39
Through the years I've been involved in Bible study on many different levels. Some applicative studies, some inductive studies.
Always with other ladies whose ultimate goal was to mature and bear fruit as a believer with other believers. I've been involved in fellowshipping, discipling and mentoring.
When I graduated from Texas A&M I was at a huge advantage having been mentored and discipled by some awesome ladies. I thought I knew what a Godly family and a Godly life looked like. Even what I thought "the dream" would look like didn't pan out...at least how I thought it should. I wanted definitive answers. I wanted a map for my feet, a specific road to travel.
What I've learned over time and through the maturation process is that I still don't know what a godly life will look like. I know what a godly heart should look like. God's Word is a road map for the heart. As we walk in the light we say, "This is one way godliness looks."
When we line our heart up with His commands, He shows our feet where to go even if it isn't where we were hoping or thinking they should go.
When our hearts are on the right road, the family, the job, the spouse, the decisions become clear. Living out a calling may look like this for one, like that for another. There will be similarities and a likeness of heart.
I wear hats I never dreamed I'd be wearing. I wear many hats I always dreamed of wearing. I have never felt more free to live this life I've been given. God has given me a ministry firmly laid out in His word and boldly walked out by His Spirit.
As I let Him light my path I walk by faith into a ministry that has a look and feel to it that is uniquely me. the result is a wonderful life lived with a confidence that comes from trusting His voice in faith.
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path...and I will hear a voice say, "This is the way; turn around and walk here...For we walk by faith, not by sight." Psalm 119:105, Isaiah 30:21 and 2 Corinthians 5:7